Hey! I’m Hal. Welcome to all the new subscribers! Please press PLAY above for the full 12-minute experience of this episode. Enjoy! Be sure to introduce yourself in the comments.
Low Key Gliding
I wanna start by welcoming all my new subscribers from TikTok.
During the big scare of TikTok getting shut down, I posted a video that invited all my TikTok followers to come over to Substack and join me here. I'm so grateful that about 500 TikTokers moved over from TikTok to Substack and found me here. Thanks for making that effort. Thanks for joining me.
You know, I think of TikTok and Substack as being two very different worlds. For me, TikTok has been my music world. It's been my music self.
I've been a musician ever since I was playing the ancient hand whistle in third grade. And for the last many years, being a musician has been my primary source of identity. It's who I am. My specialty has been writing songs and playing musical instruments that nobody's ever heard of. For about 20 years, I found my home performing in the gymnasiums of elementary schools around Ohio, wondering when I was finally gonna get discovered.
Then, in May of 2019, I was giving an assembly to some fifth graders in Akron, Ohio, and during the question and answer time, a young fifth grader stood up and she asked, “Are you on TikTok?” And I said, “No.” And she said, “You should be.” I'll never forget that response. I believed her when she said it. After the assembly, a group of fifth grade girls huddled around me and assured me that if I were to upload a TikTok, they would listen and they would ‘like’ it.
So I went home and I downloaded TikTok, and I sang, “I'm off the deep end. Watch as I dive in. I'll never meet the ground.” And I had big hopes for viral success, the thing I'd been waiting for my whole life. So I put that video up, and I got about 10 likes from those 10 girls that had gathered around me after the assembly. And then I put the app aside.
I guess it was good I had about six months of just scrolling videos, getting a feel for what the “For You” page was all about. But starting on January 1, 2020, I started posting original videos of me playing music every single day. I didn't miss a day for months or even years. I gained a following on TikTok — hundreds and then thousands, then hundreds of thousands, and finally, 3 million followers on that little app. After all those years of waiting, I finally got discovered. Believe it or not, I became a world famous khaen player, in large part thanks to “Low Key Gliding.” That's the song you heard at the beginning of this episode. It's my one hit wonder.
You know, back in 2020 TikTok was a very special place. I felt like I was meeting a whole community of artists and dancers and musicians and comedians, creators and lovers of the arts. It felt kind of like I was coming home to the most amazing talent show ever in existence. And fairly quickly, I got to be one of the stars.
I remember in 2020 I was boarding a flight from San Francisco and I was sitting next to these two young guys. I so badly wanted to know if they'd seen me on TikTok. So I said, “Hey, are you guys on TikTok?” And they looked at me kind of funny and said, “No.” I was so excited about this new world that I had found. I was so excited about my twenty thousand followers. I just wanted to spread the word… and get a little hit of validation. “Look at me! Look at me!”
Though I could sense the addictive nature of scrolling on the “For You” page, and I know my own insatiable hunger to be seen, it was during the beginning of the pandemic, and I really felt like I had found some sort of creative community. TikTok has changed a lot since then. All the corporations and all the news outlets joined TikTok, and my “For You” page looks quite a bit different today than it did five years ago.
With the threat of it being shut down, I looked back and I realized that we had something very beautiful. I missed those times and I felt some real sadness. So I posted my goodbye video, played “Low Key Gliding,” and as “Low Key Gliding” usually does, it went viral. Thanks to all those TikTokers who made the effort to come over here and meet me on Substack.
Substack is a very different world for me. It's been the world of sharing my story of living with a debilitating illness called ME/CFS, myalgic encephalomyelitis. I coined the phrase myalgic encephalo-fuckin’-myelitis, also known as chronic—fuck you— fatigue syndrome. I'm not a big swearer, but it's the kind of illness that makes you want to swear out loud. It's a mean, brutal, senseless, misunderstood, poorly researched, weird blessing of an illness. It's a nasty one. Recently I heard it described as a “horrific” illness, and I thought, “damn, why did I have to get the horrific illness?”
I don’t want a horrific illness. I just wanna make TikToks.
Just in case you haven't heard the story. Back in 1991, I was a long distance runner and long distance cyclist. One spring day, I woke up in the morning and had weird symptoms in my body that never went away. It was a sudden onset — totally out of the blue. I was just 25 years old. And over the last 34 years, the symptoms have gotten progressively worse. At this point, I'm mostly bed bound and definitely house bound. Without a half milligram of Ativan, I can’t even play “Low Key Gliding.”
This song’s an important part of my TikTok story. It was on May 1, 2020. I was in my dining room in search of my next idea for a TikTok video. After many years of playing my song “Khaen Rock” on the melodious khaen, a mouth organ from Southeast Asia, I slowed it down a bit, and I slipped into a new groove that would eventually become “Low Key Gliding.”
Right away it felt real good. It was smooth and easy and calm. It all happened so organically. The fingering fell right into the comfort of my hands and the breathing was so easy. I knew I'd found something special, but I had no idea how special it would be. Hundreds of people tagged a guy named Llusion in that video of me playing “Low Key Gliding,” and it caught his attention. Llusion remixed that sound into a sound that became the sound — the sound of TikTok 2020 and 2021.
Just In case you haven't heard it. Here it is.
It had mega viral success. That track alone opened up doors that I never could have imagined opening to me. It changed my career. It changed my life.
I really enjoyed my kind of self designated role on TikTok. I felt like I was the musician uncle that every young kid wishes he had and deserves to have.
My TikTok demographic is mostly young men between the age of 16 and 24. They really took a liking to “Low Key Gliding” and all the instruments I play… and that cool uncle vibe. It's a very different demographic over here on Substack, I've discovered that the world of chronic illness is made up of mostly women. I’m not complaining. I’m just curious how these two demographics are gonna vibe. So I'm hoping to somehow find a way to integrate these 500 new TikTok followers into this “Living in a Body” community. To be honest, I'm not sure how it's gonna work, but let’s give a warm welcome to all the new followers.
Welcome to this other world of Hal Walker. It’s called “Living in a Body” on Substack. There’s not as much scrolling here and probably not as much “Low Key Gliding.
A friend of mine recently described Living in a Body. She said “To me, your Substack is about a life torn open by chronic illness and the journey you're taking to God.” Wherever you are on this journey, and whatever you happen to call that journey to God or journey to what is, sooner or later, we all end up on this journey. I'm glad to be sharing my story along the way. Thanks so much for taking the time to listen — really.
You know, I have a feeling that Substack is the social media the future. It's not owned by a multi-billionaire. We have our little corner. We have our little “Living in a Body” corner here where we can build our own community. There are lots of little communities here on Substack. Find a place for yourself and make yourself at home. I'm looking forward to doing my little part to make this a hip, cool place where you actually want to hang out.
So if you're new, please say “hello” in the comments. Tell me about yourself. Where'd we first meet? Where'd you first hear Low Key Gliding?
What's your favorite… chronic illness? (lol) Or what's your favorite musical instrument? That's a good one. Or just say “hello” and tell me where you're from.
I think that's it for today. I think we did it. “Low Key Gliding — One Hit Wonder.” You know, I'm not really a one hit wonder. I have a deep catalog of music in my career. But I'll tell you what. It was “Low Key Gliding” that took my career into a whole new dimension. And the timing couldn't have been better, considering I'm mostly bed bound and unable to work outside the home. Thank God for “Low Key Gliding.”
As far as that lifelong craving to be noticed goes… I’m still working through all that. I know more than ever that what I really want is quiet contentment and connection. I realize that what I was longing for was already with me the whole time. I just needed to slow down long enough to see it. I guess that’s been the blessing of this damn illness. I guess I’ve got to admit that chronic fatigue syndrome has been one of my greatest teachers.
Everybody, remember… enjoy living in that body of yours. It's not gonna be around forever. I guarantee it. Even if you think it will be. I used to think that — when I was 22 years old, climbing mountains. I didn't think it was ever going to end. Now I'm 57 and I'm fairly certain it's gonna come to an end eventually. But in the meantime, I'm taking it one day at a time — smiling, crying, loving, feeling, low key gliding.
Thank you so much. Have a good day.
Bye, bye ❤️
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