Wow...I entered a season of serious health issues in 2006 and have waited for the other shoe to drop since. I have fear for the future as far as symptoms. Reading this essay and reading those words, "keep it light," really gave me a different perspective. One I've needed for a long time. Thank you!
It seems like so much in this world tempts us to feel that heaviness. I'll have those words on my mind as I go about my day, 'keep it light'. Thank you for sharing your perspective Hal, I hope the stopping being and lightness are seeping into your soul and bones and bringing you comfort.
I get it. As long as you can keep doing, you resist not-doing. I’m the same way; I have been aware of Zen Buddhism most of my life, and have sort of practiced it for almost as long, but I have never really committed to it, because I have so much going on. Not likely to change any time soon.
I have a friend/former colleague who got remarried and moved from Wisconsin to New York and became a Quaker. She loves it. Maybe that’s the way.
P. S. Thank you for sharing about the Quaker meetings you do on Zoom. I've been wanting something like that in my life ever since leaving Evangelical Christianity but I could never find a good fit. This sounds promising! How can I find the Quaker sharing group that happens on Wednesday? Thank you so much for sharing the hell you've been going through. My heart goes out to you! I really hope for better days ahead for you Hal! I have mild ME/CFS but I remember well the first year of not being able to read a book or watch TV because it was just too much for my brain. And trying to have a conversation with people was torture. Things eventually got better for me and I really hope they will for you too!
Thank you! Your voice and insights are balm for my soul. I love you. I appreciate you! I’m grateful to God for you! I breathe in your essence. Sending you ❤️ love, light, 🌟grace and peace.
The YouTuber CGP Grey has, for several years now, talked about the concept of yearly themes instead of New Year’s Resolutions. You can’t fail a theme, you can simply try to make choices that align with your theme. Year of Light is now a very strong contender for my 2025 theme ♥️
Hi Dearest Hal, I am so glad that you are accepting medicine that will allow you to eat and take care of yourself with more ease and share your thoughts and musings about life, pain, joy, love.
Hal, it's good to see you here. I realized I haven't heard anything in a bit and came to your page to find nothing new and feared the worst. Sorry to hear you've had a rough go of it. I hope your doctors can find a way to help you. I don't know if you've been to the Cleveland Clinic. They are in Ohio also. They were supposed to give me a heart transplant 20 years ago, but I ended up in a different hospital and had it there. Keep on keeping on and keeping it light!
I tend to go very intense when talking with people since I became ill and I have started to want to keep it light. To enjoy my non-bed bound or housebound times more, because I am likely to end back there 24/7 one day when something triggers it off again. I know I could end up back with severe CFS again so attempting to live in the moment and enjoy it when I’m not. I think that not having any expectations of outcomes is the hardest part of living lightly or gently. Expectations are weighty and heavy. Glad you are able to enjoy the time you have and pray you find medical assistance.
Hal, I don't know why I came upon your substack - I think I actually clicked on the substack website, which I never do, and it offered up a bunch of posts, and this was one of them (probably because we both know Kelly Hambly). I had no idea you were going through this and I wish you more light and fewer crashes. And I'm so glad you are feeling held and at home in the Quaker world. Becca from Tamarack Farm
Also, are you still friends with Warren? Haven't thought about him in decades, but you saying you were introduced to Quakers in 1989 made me remember that summer.
I would also say take the Ativan and don't worry about whether it is addictive or not. If you've got something in your arsenal that helps you, by all means use it. As a nurse I remember cancer patients 30 years ago who were in excruciating pain not wanting to take morphine because it was addictive. That's the least of your/their worries! If it helps use it!
Raw, real, honest and profoundly beautiful.
Honoured to be on your substack.
Love.
Wow...I entered a season of serious health issues in 2006 and have waited for the other shoe to drop since. I have fear for the future as far as symptoms. Reading this essay and reading those words, "keep it light," really gave me a different perspective. One I've needed for a long time. Thank you!
It seems like so much in this world tempts us to feel that heaviness. I'll have those words on my mind as I go about my day, 'keep it light'. Thank you for sharing your perspective Hal, I hope the stopping being and lightness are seeping into your soul and bones and bringing you comfort.
Hal—
I get it. As long as you can keep doing, you resist not-doing. I’m the same way; I have been aware of Zen Buddhism most of my life, and have sort of practiced it for almost as long, but I have never really committed to it, because I have so much going on. Not likely to change any time soon.
I have a friend/former colleague who got remarried and moved from Wisconsin to New York and became a Quaker. She loves it. Maybe that’s the way.
P. S. Thank you for sharing about the Quaker meetings you do on Zoom. I've been wanting something like that in my life ever since leaving Evangelical Christianity but I could never find a good fit. This sounds promising! How can I find the Quaker sharing group that happens on Wednesday? Thank you so much for sharing the hell you've been going through. My heart goes out to you! I really hope for better days ahead for you Hal! I have mild ME/CFS but I remember well the first year of not being able to read a book or watch TV because it was just too much for my brain. And trying to have a conversation with people was torture. Things eventually got better for me and I really hope they will for you too!
http://www.quakercenter.org/programs/meeting-for-worship/
Dearest Hal💙
Thank you! Your voice and insights are balm for my soul. I love you. I appreciate you! I’m grateful to God for you! I breathe in your essence. Sending you ❤️ love, light, 🌟grace and peace.
🌟
Love you, Judy.
The YouTuber CGP Grey has, for several years now, talked about the concept of yearly themes instead of New Year’s Resolutions. You can’t fail a theme, you can simply try to make choices that align with your theme. Year of Light is now a very strong contender for my 2025 theme ♥️
What a wonderful idea! Resolutions have never worked for me and at 71, I have needed something to study and continue learning from. Thank you.
Hi Dearest Hal, I am so glad that you are accepting medicine that will allow you to eat and take care of yourself with more ease and share your thoughts and musings about life, pain, joy, love.
Hal, it's good to see you here. I realized I haven't heard anything in a bit and came to your page to find nothing new and feared the worst. Sorry to hear you've had a rough go of it. I hope your doctors can find a way to help you. I don't know if you've been to the Cleveland Clinic. They are in Ohio also. They were supposed to give me a heart transplant 20 years ago, but I ended up in a different hospital and had it there. Keep on keeping on and keeping it light!
a real tender PEM antidote here 🤍
I tend to go very intense when talking with people since I became ill and I have started to want to keep it light. To enjoy my non-bed bound or housebound times more, because I am likely to end back there 24/7 one day when something triggers it off again. I know I could end up back with severe CFS again so attempting to live in the moment and enjoy it when I’m not. I think that not having any expectations of outcomes is the hardest part of living lightly or gently. Expectations are weighty and heavy. Glad you are able to enjoy the time you have and pray you find medical assistance.
I finally exhaled for what felt like the first time today. Thanks, Hal.
Hal, I don't know why I came upon your substack - I think I actually clicked on the substack website, which I never do, and it offered up a bunch of posts, and this was one of them (probably because we both know Kelly Hambly). I had no idea you were going through this and I wish you more light and fewer crashes. And I'm so glad you are feeling held and at home in the Quaker world. Becca from Tamarack Farm
Also, are you still friends with Warren? Haven't thought about him in decades, but you saying you were introduced to Quakers in 1989 made me remember that summer.
Hi Hal, brother of light. I like that. I like what you said, what your friend Emma said - is that Emma Kitchen? Learning so much from your words.
Thanks Hal. Keeping it light.
I would also say take the Ativan and don't worry about whether it is addictive or not. If you've got something in your arsenal that helps you, by all means use it. As a nurse I remember cancer patients 30 years ago who were in excruciating pain not wanting to take morphine because it was addictive. That's the least of your/their worries! If it helps use it!
Beautiful, Hal. So you. I think of the Serenity Prayer when I listen to this. God has granted you an avenue to serenity.