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Laura W.'s avatar

Great story and so well told as usual, Hal! I look forward to every single post you make and I really enjoy listening to your original music as you tell each story.

My darkest side was my turbulent adolescence that began with my parents constantly fighting and my mother suddenly moving me out of my childhood house at age 11 and taking me away from my dad, without telling me until we arrived at my "new home." For years, I resented her and even hated her for doing that and for not making me part of the decision OR at least telling me what was going on. She lied and kept me in the dark. So, my coping mechanism became lying. I concocted stories that I WISHED so badly were true that I believed them in my mind. It took me years to get past this with a lot of other turbulence involved -- I'm also an addict who sought solace in alcohol in my early 20's.

I finally decided that it wasn't the life for me and, having broken free from the chains of my past, I uprooted myself and moved 2,000 miles away to Colorado to get myself out of that gutter and start a new, HONEST life. Since this rebirth, I have been so lucky to have the best life! I re-rooted myself in a glorious small mountain town with a new family of friends, met my soul mate, married, and now find myself raising a child of my own. I broke free of the need to concoct lies by creating my own life that I love with an attitude of "Well, if it ain't fun, it ain't worth it!" I vowed to do everything OPPOSITE of how I experienced life during those awful years.

My girl is 15 now in the throes of her own rocky adolescence, except she has 2 parents who are still married and adore the heck out of each other like the first day they met, which is unusual in this day and age where none of her friends' parents are still together. NONE! She has a life of stability with no reason to create lies to cope.

They say "what comes around, goes around," and our payback for all the trouble we caused in our youth returns to us when we become a parent. I struggle every day to steer my girl on a good path and empower her to make good decisions, so that she hopefully rises from the experience alive AND thriving without needing to lie or turn to unhealthy ways of coping. Before she was even born, I vowed to her that I will never lie and always stressed that telling the truth is more important than any bad thing you did. This became a challenge when she asked me point blank if I was the Tooth Fairy and Santa, but we got through it! Parenting is such a crap shoot!

Thank you for allowing me a space to "confess" and for hearing my tale!

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Hal Walker's avatar

Laura! Somehow I never replied to your wonderful sharing. Thank you so much… yes, telling the truth…. ❤️

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Dennis W Morgan's avatar

Laura, ... thank You so much for the appearances of nearly ‘cloning with Hal’. His transparency appears contagious. As I read Your story I could imagine Hal’s eyes tearing - I even heard His piano playing continue while clearly told the freeing truth. Thank You both so much.

I’m inspired to join in @ some point & cough up my own journey relating to You & Hal ‘come clean’ sharing.

“... You shall know the truth & the truth shall set You free “ Jesus did. So have You (y’all now a days 😉). Circa 1949, papa dennis, ‘marketplace father

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Kim Rivers's avatar

Beautifully written, Hal. I've always appreciated your vulnerability. It's what opens us up and allows us to connect to other people. Thanks for creating this space. And I really love the soft piano in the background of the audio.

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Hal Walker's avatar

Thank you Kim. ❤️

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Dennis W Morgan's avatar

Indeed

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Carol Bailey Floyd's avatar

Wow!! Thanks for sharing so vulnerably. I am glad you are getting some of your energy back!

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Hal Walker's avatar

Thank you Carol. Yes. This one felt a but vulnerable… somebody’s gotta do it, I guess. :)

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Trish's avatar

Thanks Hal

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Hal Walker's avatar

You're welcome, Trish. I wonder how many more weeks of this I've got in me. lol. :)

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Lucy Tenenbaum's avatar

I believe all high energy lifestyles (if you are, you know it) pay in equal, opposite down and dark slow times. Two sides of our shiny coin. I am amazed by Hal. I would be on the dark side full time after such losses. Bravo, you still shine. I am so broken by losing my UU job that I’ve given up music. Not sure I’ll pick it up again. It hurts so much.

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Hal Walker's avatar

Hi Lucy. Thank you for sharing. A lot of hurt these days... Hang in there. ❤️ Hal

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Lucy Tenenbaum's avatar

Your sharing makes it easier to share. I thank you. I was very taken in and envious of your golden boy. Had no idea you had a dark side. Feel better knowing.

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Emma rose's avatar

Donkey Kong yeess , PAC man wooo .also liked the good ol' simple tennis 2 sticks hitting another smaller square ..it was the sound loved the sound.

Our story is me and my brother on holiday cira 85 12 yrs he 6. we walked though an arcade and for no known reason a 2p filp machine started coughing out all its 2ps ...wooo hooo cha Ching . With big eyes we stuffed our short pockets and scarpered ..... Naughty 😊💫 but hey we probably went back and put them all in the machine again anyway .

I actually think that was the start of my dark side no wait it was way before that ... Always liked ilving in the shadows , the underworld , life when the lights were off ..

But hey now I live it not through choice so here it is ...

Hal can u help me ? I don't feel at times I can live this way ( as u know house and partial bed bound ...

Can u be on my team of supporters ?

Maybe we could e mail chat ?

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Hal Walker's avatar

It was great to connect with you today Emma. :)

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Emma rose's avatar

Sure was hal .. I've just sent u a message re grp via what's app ..what is the best way to communicate with u ?

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Kay Shue's avatar

Wow Hal. I admire your vulnerability. Thank you for sharing your story. The older I get, the more I realize that we ALL have pain in our lives. Thank you for continuing to inspire.

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Hal Walker's avatar

Thanks so much Kay. Yes… it’s not easy being human. ❤️

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Cali Bird's avatar

Happy Birthday for next Saturday. We're the same age and my birthday is coming up in a few days too. It's great to be Pisces

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Hal Walker's avatar

Yay. Thank you Cali. Yes. PIsces is a good fit for me. Happy 56. H

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Emma rose's avatar

Love the play palace pic ... The guy at the front doing his 80s rock band stance .... Looking like a porn star .

The capture with your dad in his older yrs is beautiful

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Hal Walker's avatar

Thanks so much Emma. I love those pictures too. :)

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Belle Plaine's avatar

Thanks for sharing, Hal. Enjoyed this.

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Hal Walker's avatar

Thanks so much for taking the time to read, Belle. I like our little group. :)

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Vanessa Vesely's avatar

Enjoyed reading this very human story.

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Hal Walker's avatar

Thank you for reading and commenting, Vanessa. :)

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Janet's avatar

I always thought as your mother, I knew everything about you. Maybe I was too busy to know where my 14 year-old biked off to every Sunday afternoon after church. This reckoning is such a surprise to me that I wonder if it isn’t just fiction? Your imagination working overtime????🤗

Great essay though, Hal Son.

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Hal Walker's avatar

Thanks mama! No... you don't everything about me. Stay tuned here on Substack and you'll eventually find out everything. :)

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Dennis W Morgan's avatar

‘Mama’ & Son. Wow Wee. Am I glad I kept reading down ... my head & heart are fully engaged: great job raising an immortal in Your own way (Your husband as well). Hal is a freedom fighter & liberator - I’m honored by y’all . Thank You Sincerely. “He whom the Son sets free is free indeed “. Thank You ‘Mama & Son’

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Fog Chaser's avatar

Great piece, Hal

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Hal Walker's avatar

Thanks so much, Fog Man. :) This one felt a bit more vulnerable so I especially appreciate the feedback. H

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Geoff's avatar

Nice story. Iirc, Burger Chef occupied the building before Play Palace moved in.

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Hal Walker's avatar

You are correct, Geoff. Then it was a Hawaiian restaurant with palm trees out front, then Susan's Coffee and Tea and now Five Guys. Did you spend any time at Play Palace? :) H

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Geoff's avatar

Indeed I did. I remember playing Galaga there.

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Gary S.'s avatar

My pinball night started at the Kent State Student Union when my mom was taking graduate classes there. I would save my lunch money, codge an extra dollar or two from my mom since I "had" to go there while she was in class. My games predate yours by a bit. Fireball was one with more than two flippers, you could get (I think) four balls in play at the same time, and it had this crazy spinning disk in the middle that would mess up even your most careful shots!

There were a few others I was hardcore with. One was a "card game" and you could win extra balls, high scores get extra games, and then at the very end, there was a spinning counter wheel with 10, 20, 30, etc. and if the last two numbers of your score matched, KNOCK! Free game!

I think I might have snitched a few quarters from YOUR dad's dresser too. ;)

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Hal Walker's avatar

Lol. I’m sure I’ve played Fireball at some time. I went to a pinball convention in Cleveland a few years ago where there were at least 100 games. It was a loud room. :)

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Gary S.'s avatar

Anytime you feel up to it, I have a boat load of quarters these days!

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