We all spend our lives trying to fill that hole. That is the essence of human existence . Your reflections are thoughtful and I look forward to hearing. Glad you and Mango are a good team.
Thanks Hal. Been following/reading your posts for months and this is the first time I have actually commented in words. Prior to this post, I would read, watch, listen then silently reflect on your insight, your message and your mission. Human doing vs Human being. It sounds so simple yet we know the difficulty. I too have been involved in a 12 step program off and on for years. My God, my higher power, visits often. Not from the sky. Not in my spirit but from others. Their words, their actions. Their inactions and sometimes their silence. I just have to remain open to it and welcome it when it comes.
Hal and Mango I love you guys and I see joy in that photo. I am humbled and grateful to be walking beside you on this crazy journey Hal, offering up salads made with love and organic veggies; and to have a new friend in you, Mango.
Peace Hal. Our spiritual paths seem to often take us to strange places. Perhaps we are the places where we are able to receive what we could not receive otherwise. "God" has not forgotten.
Thank you Hal for openly sharing your heart. It sounds like you you are seeking God and a most Ernest earnest and sincere way. It’s precious that He answered you about you were in the float tank.
God has helped me when I asked Him to help me in my unbelief.
Thanks for this. Doing the same exact thing right now from Pittsburgh.
I have been using creative outlets for my ME advocacy, in hopes that it will make a difference for someone, somewhere. But I have come to realize that it as just another distraction from the extreme discomfort. And very possibly perpetuating it, at least to an extent.
But when my ideas come in, i just HAVE TO get them out. ME/CFS seems to be in exact competition with my ADHD.
I did enter the bargaining stage briefly this week, which is new for me. Maybe it’s some progress toward acceptance & learning how to be a human being. I am really awful at it.
I love you Hal. Thank you for sharing so deeply with such candor. Thank you God for sharing your vastness and mystery through Hal Walker. Thank you God.
I think you mostly want witnessing so I’m witnessing your words and mostly plan to stay quiet in the future but this time I want to just invite you to consider grief movement. It may seem naive or you may have tried it but I fully believe trauma and grief live in the body and cause issues/illnesses and the movements can be done in a chair (some maybe laying down) and in minutes. I’ll continue to listen and witness and send love and healing to you from us, friend. As you learn to be, I think it may help you return to doing but then maybe you’ll enjoy more just being sometimes, being less in the head, less in judgment and more in your whole body,. Busy is a distraction, an avoidance, but does not resolve what emotions are being avoided. I don’t know what it is like to have MEf’nCFS and I’m not suggesting it’s a cure so perhaps just a way to understand the God-sized hole and other ways to see how much is the hole itself and how much is a dark shadow around it that make it look way bigger in the darkness. Ok, enough of my hot air lol… I hope today is a good day that brings good things and peace. ✌🏻
I’m coming back within minutes to say I don’t like that I said way bigger in the hole analogy because I think it conveys a lack of understanding that ME/CFS is absolutely devastating so I want to say that it’s not a reference to the illness or the cumulative grief that comes with that but the expanding we add to all of that already huge stuff.
I do believe that letting go of past identities, No matter how painful, is the way forwardno matter how painful, is the way forward. In the prayer of the amazing Tosha Silver: “let what needs to go, go. Let what needs to come, come.“
I’ve been undergoing my own spiritual crisis. I believed in love as the foundation of everything. But Covid fear, anxiety, and isolation took that away from me, leaving me feeling desperately unsafe. I realized that it was actually love that felt unsafe - due to childhood circumstances where it was given or taken away on a whim,.
Some dark moments this past winter.
Now I am filtering every thought, emotion, action, choice, and problem through the question of, “ does it feel safe?“
I’m creating a life of safety in order to heal. I believe that when I am better at that, my faith will return.
So – sending what love and support I have to you for this moment
We all spend our lives trying to fill that hole. That is the essence of human existence . Your reflections are thoughtful and I look forward to hearing. Glad you and Mango are a good team.
Thank you Karyn. Miss you. ❤️
Thanks Hal. Been following/reading your posts for months and this is the first time I have actually commented in words. Prior to this post, I would read, watch, listen then silently reflect on your insight, your message and your mission. Human doing vs Human being. It sounds so simple yet we know the difficulty. I too have been involved in a 12 step program off and on for years. My God, my higher power, visits often. Not from the sky. Not in my spirit but from others. Their words, their actions. Their inactions and sometimes their silence. I just have to remain open to it and welcome it when it comes.
Thanks for your message today.
M
Thank you so much, Mike. Good to connect with you. H
Hal and Mango I love you guys and I see joy in that photo. I am humbled and grateful to be walking beside you on this crazy journey Hal, offering up salads made with love and organic veggies; and to have a new friend in you, Mango.
Thanks for everything, Julie
Peace Hal. Our spiritual paths seem to often take us to strange places. Perhaps we are the places where we are able to receive what we could not receive otherwise. "God" has not forgotten.
... very strange places indeed. Thank you, Randy
Thank you Hal for openly sharing your heart. It sounds like you you are seeking God and a most Ernest earnest and sincere way. It’s precious that He answered you about you were in the float tank.
God has helped me when I asked Him to help me in my unbelief.
I hope you continue to seek Him.
Thank you, Janet. H
Hi Hal and Welcome to Mango!
Would that be the Halgo team?
So glad you’re together ! Wow
Miracles happening every day !
Your angels sent Mango! Thank you Mango for taking care of this man. He gives so much through writing and music.
Get outside as much as possible! Feel the sun and gentle breeze, hear the birds. Nature is so healing!
Thank you. You may be suffering, but you’re not suffering alone. Your writing is reaching more people than you’ll ever know!! ♥️♥️♥️
Thanks for this. Doing the same exact thing right now from Pittsburgh.
I have been using creative outlets for my ME advocacy, in hopes that it will make a difference for someone, somewhere. But I have come to realize that it as just another distraction from the extreme discomfort. And very possibly perpetuating it, at least to an extent.
But when my ideas come in, i just HAVE TO get them out. ME/CFS seems to be in exact competition with my ADHD.
I did enter the bargaining stage briefly this week, which is new for me. Maybe it’s some progress toward acceptance & learning how to be a human being. I am really awful at it.
You’re not alone!!! Thank you again for this.
I love you Hal. Thank you for sharing so deeply with such candor. Thank you God for sharing your vastness and mystery through Hal Walker. Thank you God.
What a wonderful post. Thanks so much for sharing. So glad you have a good caretaker again. Keep on writing and staying positive. From a fellow UU.
Thank you so much Melanie. H
I think you mostly want witnessing so I’m witnessing your words and mostly plan to stay quiet in the future but this time I want to just invite you to consider grief movement. It may seem naive or you may have tried it but I fully believe trauma and grief live in the body and cause issues/illnesses and the movements can be done in a chair (some maybe laying down) and in minutes. I’ll continue to listen and witness and send love and healing to you from us, friend. As you learn to be, I think it may help you return to doing but then maybe you’ll enjoy more just being sometimes, being less in the head, less in judgment and more in your whole body,. Busy is a distraction, an avoidance, but does not resolve what emotions are being avoided. I don’t know what it is like to have MEf’nCFS and I’m not suggesting it’s a cure so perhaps just a way to understand the God-sized hole and other ways to see how much is the hole itself and how much is a dark shadow around it that make it look way bigger in the darkness. Ok, enough of my hot air lol… I hope today is a good day that brings good things and peace. ✌🏻
Thanks. I’m open to learning about what grief movement is. Please send me a text with more info. :) H
Will do! :)
I’m coming back within minutes to say I don’t like that I said way bigger in the hole analogy because I think it conveys a lack of understanding that ME/CFS is absolutely devastating so I want to say that it’s not a reference to the illness or the cumulative grief that comes with that but the expanding we add to all of that already huge stuff.
Lyrical writing Hal! Touching and inspiring
Sending love for your journey..sounds like you are on track
Thank you Trish. :)
Thanks for this, Hal.
I do believe that letting go of past identities, No matter how painful, is the way forwardno matter how painful, is the way forward. In the prayer of the amazing Tosha Silver: “let what needs to go, go. Let what needs to come, come.“
I’ve been undergoing my own spiritual crisis. I believed in love as the foundation of everything. But Covid fear, anxiety, and isolation took that away from me, leaving me feeling desperately unsafe. I realized that it was actually love that felt unsafe - due to childhood circumstances where it was given or taken away on a whim,.
Some dark moments this past winter.
Now I am filtering every thought, emotion, action, choice, and problem through the question of, “ does it feel safe?“
I’m creating a life of safety in order to heal. I believe that when I am better at that, my faith will return.
So – sending what love and support I have to you for this moment
Lea
Thank you so much Lea. H